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четвртак, 03. фебруар 2011.

Walmart, Goddamit

In this blog i will be writting about some funny stories and pictures from walmart.Here are some:
1.
PITFALLS IN PARENTING
My friend and I were walking into a Walmart not long ago when we noticed what seemed to be a little girl, 3 years old or so, digging in the back of her pants. As we got closer we realized that she was not digging in her pants, she was trying to pull them up as her speed walking mother pulled her along by her other arm. I felt bad for the toddler whos bottom was now exposed to the world, so I rushed to catch up to Momma Speed Walker and as I closed in the mother turned to yell at her child for going too slow. She looked at the little girl in disgust and loudly demanded for her to pull up her pants, as if it were the child’s fault that her mother put her in pants that were two sizes too small and wouldn’t stay up.
After giving her a look that singed her soul I made sure to comment about her parenting.


2.
(S)HE SAID (S)HE SAID
Today I went to Walmart to pick up a couple things with my dad. We walk in and see this… person in the middle of the aisle talk loudly while pushing a carriage. They were creating traffic and being obxnoxious. Now, I’m pretty sure it was women but it could very well be a man. They had short hair, sunglasses, a flat chest, tons of tattoos, a fairly deep voice, and baggy clothes. My dad and I scurried past, grabbed what we needed and went to check out. My dad suggested we go to aisle 8. We get in line, and there is that person again. This time, they’re with a greasy, country-era older man. The whole time (s)he won’t shut up and acts like (s)he’s on crack or speed. (S)he goes on and on about how she bought some pants (little boy jeans) for their self and boombox so they can listen to it really loudly so the nieghbors will yell at them. And (s)he was planning on watching the trains go by. (S)he said all this and was driving the carriage around in circles while waiting for her(?) partner to finish checking out. That was by far the wierdest walmart experiance I’ve had in a while…..

3.
THE LOST CHILD
I used to work customer service desk at Wal Mart and I have had my share of horror. The customer service desk often receives lost items found in the store but one day a customer brought us a screaming lost little boy. We were able to get his mom’s name and we paged her to come retrieve him. Meanwhile this boy is still screaming his head off. After no one came for several minutes, we started to page every minute or so for about fifteen minutes. This kid does not stop yelling the entire time. Eventually the mother comes by customer service yelling at us for paging her so much. She had decided that she was going to finish her shopping and check out before she picked up her kid. She yelled some angry words at us as she was leaving. Some people shouldn’t have kids.


4.
SEXY NEGLIGEE
This was a long time ago, before the invention of the Super Walmart. Me and a buddy were in the shoe aisle looking at some hiking boots. All of a sudden, a nice gentleman came up to us and asked if we could verify what he was seeing. We proceed around the corner of the aisle and get the most disturbing image I had ever seen at that point of my life. Standing before us, was a large, mid-40s, black woman wearing a shiny silver pleather miniskirt that was several sizes too small, an almost see-through white blouse, and what I thought was a black belt. Unfortunately, the black belt was actually a fat roll that was protruding over the skirt. Throw in dragon lady fingernail, gold teeth, and a really bad weave, and you got a WalCreature of epic proportions. That particular scene was bad, but what made it far worse was that she was looking at some rather skimpy, see-through lingerie and was making comments about how she was going to surprise her boyfriend tonight with it.
My friend and I quickly proceeded to the hardware section to purchase a soldering gun to burn out our retinas.

11 коментара:

  1. Man, I really like hearing about these stories. For some reason, they are just so interesting. I guess because they don't often happen here.

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  2. jeez, #3 is why they have that kid's area at giant eagle. wal-mart is not a day care for your child!

    something similar to #1 happened to my sister where she stripped naked at 4 years old at the mall for no reason.

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  3. Oh wow, this is actually intense. Do you actually stop and think what others lives are like? This shows alot! thanks dude!

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  4. Walmart always scares me because of things like this...

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  5. I live in Aus, so we dont have wallmart, would love to go there

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  6. oh walmart. always bringing the lulz/headaches.

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  7. please post more pictures of those retards!! lol

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  8. You never know what you will see when you go into a walmart.

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